Home - Post Surgery
We have been home from the hospital for almost a week now. It has been two weeks and one day since Dust's big facial reconstruction.
I'm not going to lie. These last two weeks have been the hardest of our lives so far. We knew this was going to be a long road, but I don't think either of us truly realized how hard this road would be. We are weary, that's for sure.
We have been wracking our brains, trying to figure out how to bring more light and positivity into such a difficult situation. Dust was restless all night and decided to make goals for each day. Here are some of the ideas he came up with was to find a tutor or teacher to teach us more about the gospel, to find something fun or happy that has nothing to do with anything we are dealing with at the moment, to take a walk, to write in his journal, and to read or listen to a talk.
Some days it feels like the best we can do is just survive the day. We are trying to find a way out of the darkness that we feel, because we know that this is not the way our Heavenly Father would want us to feel. There are times where we yearn so desperately for the days before the accident. I flash back to eating dinner at Pita Pit in Logan on the way to Bear Lake and the sweetness of regular, happy life. Watching Dust hold Haley and try not to smile at Cole as he tells him to calm down and quit running around the restaurant, and then flash that "Oh! Our crazy kid!" smile at me from across the table, oh how I desperately miss that smile. There are days we physically hurt because of the pain and sorrow we feel inside.
But we KNOW that we will be lead out of this darkness. We know that when they talk about enduring to the end... THESE are the times they are talking about. We will do this. We will keep fighting for the day where laughter comes easier, where we are able to resume our lives, where I will be able to be a mom again and Dust will be able to be a dad again and do all of the things he loves to do. We KNOW that there are better days ahead. Better than we ever could have imagined and better than we could have had without going through this.
Just today, we listened to a talk by Elder Holland, "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence." Great talk. It says how we are feeling perfectly:
"Fighting through darkness and despair and pleading for the light is what opened this dispensation. It is what keeps it going, and it is what will keep you going. With Paul, I say to all of you:
Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. [Hebrews 10:35–36]
I acknowledge the reality of opposition and adversity, but I bear witness of the God of Glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that he has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored...
“Fear ye not.” And when the second and the third and the fourth blows come, “fear ye not. . . . The Lord shall fight for you.” “Cast not away therefore your confidence.”